4/26/2013. - Day 31 - If You’re Gonna Play in Texas, You Gotta have a Fiddle in the Band. (And you probably gotta work a little so you don't run out of green.)

4/26/2013. - Day 31 - If You’re Gonna Play in Texas, You Gotta have a Fiddle in the Band. (And you probably gotta work a little so you don't run out of green.)

This morning I tackled laundry, something I haven’t done since I left Donna’s house in Eugene, OR some time ago. Donna has already apologized for being selfish with me on my trip and requesting not one but two visits. No need for apologies: In my opinion, we already had a ton of fun in Oregon despite the crummy weather. I look forward to the next couple days of time with her again. She has never lived close so this is quite a blessing to get a double dose of Aunt Donna in one month! I'm also overjoyed and thankful for a stopping point again. And it's a bonus that it's one with fun people!

On the J-O-B. 

The early afternoon is all but taken up with making appointments for the pickup to have a checkup and tire rotation, collecting necessity items for the rest of the trip and making final travel arrangements for the next leg. Five thousand miles is already behind me, so this is a good halfway point to regroup, give the pickup some TLC, and run the necessary errands while Donna is at work, contributing to society in a way I haven’t for over a month. I am however, trooping off to “work” later this afternoon….Texas is a shopper's playground of beautiful and pretty things but I am running low on fun money so I figured I had best address that situation sooner rather than later. 

Around 3:00PM I report for duty as a promotional figure. Today’s assignment is a local grocery store and the product at hand is a selection of health food snacks I am enlisted to help the company hand out samples while educating customers about the benefits of consuming them. This particular area of Texas seems obsessed with eating fully organic healthful food, which does not include the particular item we are marketing, and this is a difficult pitch. I think people here eat tofu and kelp regularly and likely drink those green shakes you see in the movies that almost cause you to gag. The people in this store will have none of this processed vitamin enriched goodness. One day back at the grind and I’m ready to go back into retirement.

Donna loves my big hair and feels I
will fit in well in Texas. 

I finish the gig and place a call in to Donna. She has been working hard both at her job and with the real estate company, hoping to move in to her new home today. Complications, seemingly standard with any home purchase, have continued so she reports dismally that we will be put up in a hotel tonight. I am excited for another adventure; Donna is frustrated and determined to get into that house. She hunkers down in the hotel thinking of every possible avenue to pursue so she can be in her new home now. 

I understand her position because that was me. I admire the hard work and determination that Donna has, but it doesn't work for me. Not anymore. The old me would have had my goal and fought tooth and nail to get it as Donna was. Tried every possible way, found every loophole, and spent hours trying to find a solution.  So I get it. But looking at the problem holistically, staying in a hotel is certainly not the worst thing in the world, and the complication was in no way a personal fault or failure on Donna’s part. I used to get all worked up over stuff like this, feeling like I failed, but over the course of the trip so far I have felt those tendencies toward feeling guilt and putting pressure and blame on myself slipping away. This is slightly concerning as I may be edging towards the hippie side of the continuum.  I will need to reflect on this tonight to ensure none of my toes are over the definitive boundary between traditional non hippie views and completely progressive and radical hippie-dom. But honestly I've learned it just isn't worth it to spend as much time worrying and stressing as I used to. Everybody has their own way, their own set of actions and processes that works for them and that just wasn't working for me. Outwardly I was productive but inside I was burning out. I realized you give it your all, and at the end of the day if things don’t work out, there’s no sense spending additional time obsessing over it. Life’s too short and I couldn't keep on going that way. 

Tomorrow is another day—to dream, to do, to succeed. It is filled with potential and if I don’t have all the answers tonight, that’s OK. I have a warm place to sleep, friends and family that love me, and adventures that await me. And that’s enough for tonight.