Thursday, March 3, 2016

5/22/2013. - Day 57 - “She knows who she is. She just forgot for a little while.”

5.22.2013. - Day 57 - “She knows who she is. She just forgot for a little while.”
― Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life



Today was taken up with writing, or trying to write. I feel a continual pressure to write, always, and it is especially powerful on this trip. It's there pushing and pulling at me consistently. It is one of the rare certainties in life that I know I must do. I think frequently of the quote that writers "love to have written." The part before that, the writing, is an indescribable jumble of emotions and efforts...and naps. It's exhausting, exhilarating, soulful, and just plain hard. But for those of us who feel the letters and words flow into our fingertips with an urgency to have their story told, there is no other way but directly through the wild and untamed path to a written work.

Back to the trip: When I was 25, I was going through a rough patch which was really a beginning catalyst to this entire pilgrimage. I wrote myself a letter, a letter to myself at 25, and sealed it up. One day, I wasn't sure when, but one day when I had found happiness and contentment I would open it and read about my worries and troubles at the time. I know for certain that whenever that day comes, those worries will seem so insignificant now. Perspective is a lesson often learned in hindsight, accepted with age.

With each passing day on this journey I learn more about myself, and let the pieces go that aren't important. Worrying about the uncontrollable, getting upset over little ripples in every day life--these parts of me were ok to let go of on this journey, and in this life. The other parts, the important pieces like faith and morals and values, have been challenged and strengthened each day. I know what I stand for and what matters to me, and I'm learning to let go of the other stuff that is just getting in the way. It's like I'm getting to know myself in a way that I wasn't free to do before.

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