4/18/2013. - Day 23 - More Sunsets. More Joy.

4/18/2013. - Day 23 - More Sunsets. More Joy.



The sun has already risen and bathed the morning in brightness when I awaken. It's still early morning though, and I am up and attempting to get moving on time to make it to Scripps before the low tide turns. I put my swimsuit on under my clothes just to be safe, put on my Keens, and hop into the pickup. On the passenger seat is my Lifeproof case. I'm not planning on diving into the water but it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to utilize that today, so I spend a few seconds fitting the heavy duty protector onto my phone. I plan to travel light, since I will be climbing over several sets of rocks to get to the tide pools. I decide to take nothing besides my phone since I can pack it into my pocket and have my hands free for balance to avoid falling into the water.

I arrive at Scripps near La Jolla Beach and circle the area several times before finding a parking spot about a half mile away. Even in the early morning, surfers snatch up many of the parking spots in efforts to catch the best waves in accordance with the tides. I set out for the rocks and start climbing over the larger ones to get to the area where the smaller rocks harbor the tide pools. All the while I remain watchful for sting rays, as well as octopuses and small sharks, which I was also warned about. Stirring up the shallow water can disturb these creatures and I make the best efforts to avoid areas deeper than a foot so that I always have a clear view of the bottom.

This area has tons of sea anemones, small crabs and snails, and also an abundance of starfish. The starfish here are huge purple, pink, or orange creatures heavily anchored to their surroundings. I am mindful of where I place my hands as I climb around as I have startled a handful of crabs already and do not wish to squish any. There are also birds foraging in the water, searching for those creatures not so lucky to ride out with the tide. I spend the better part of this morning exploring the wonders of the sea.

As the morning begins to give way to the afternoon, surfers pass by on the rocks and families begin to appear in the distance, closer to the beach area. I decide to wrap up my adventure and make my way back to the pickup. The rocks are extremely slippery and even with my Keens on, it's difficult to get my footing. I carefully pick my way from rock to rock, avoiding the quickly rising water between them so that I don't have to worry about what's beneath my feet, lest it be a scary sea creature.

The tide is coming in quickly, and it's harder and harder to find rocks close enough together and dry enough to step on. In trying to stay on the rocks and also keep my eyes out for not only unexplored tide pools but also unexpected sea creatures, I find myself losing my footing frequently. There are other beach combers headed back from the tide pools and as I glance over at a man navigating a bicycle over the last remaining areas of dry sand, I slip on a rock, lose my footing completely, and crash face first into the water. I am startled by the cold water, slightly amused at the spectacle that I am, and relieved that I snapped that Lifeproof case over my iPhone this morning. I should note that I didn't simply fall into the water, but bounced off a few rocks on the way in, meaning I will have lovely coloring by morning in my knee area. It's important to learn to laugh at yourself. And to thank little Baby Jesus that you put your phone cover on before venturing out into a place where your lack or coordination could be detrimental...



I drive back to the hotel to change and search for my dignity. It's my last day in San Diego and it's nice and hot so time outside is a must. I spend part of my afternoon shopping and sight seeing at Seaport Village. There is a carousel here which fulfills my love of these vintage rides and there are plenty of shops to entertain me for a few hours. I spent some time in the sink of a public restroom last time I was here, after failing to check the surface on which I subsequently sat while enjoying the view from the pier. This year, I will not be a victim of fly-by seagull ignorance.








For the final hours of daylight, I decide to seek out a few more shops on Coronado Island. With time to spare before sunset, I find my way to Imperial Beach to relax and reflect. I am impatient. I want to watch the sunset but can hardly sit still long enough for that as I pass my time journaling and daydreaming and basking in the fading rays of sunlight. I think there are things about ourselves that each one of us desperately wishes we could change. Patience is something that I have short amounts of; and while I'd like to change that, it might just be a part of me I have to accept and embrace. I will gladly settle for impatience over some of the worse vices.





As I sit in the sand and watch the surfers gather near the pier under the descending sun, I smile. It's something that has been randomly happening for a few weeks now, this strange sensation on my face where the corners of my mouth turn up into a silly grin and I get a funny feeling inside my stomach like my emotions may burst out at any moment.


Joy.

It strikes me frequently now and I hadn't stopped to recognize it until this moment. I think I had to leave my comfort zone, my planning and structuring and worries and escape the constraints of the "should's" and the "have to's" in order to not only find joy, but realize that I was without it. It's such an incredible feeling when joy takes over and you can't control your smile or the happiness that radiates from your face.

When it first began happening, I think it was so foreign that I was unable to recognize or label it. But I know now. I smile now. And they are genuine, real smiles that come from the tips of my toes and swirl around in my stomach and spill out across my face. They come from driving with the windows down and the music up, coming upon an unexpected beach full of slumbering sea lions, stepping out into an unfamiliar city and feeling the excitement of doing it all solo, and from sitting quietly in the sand and watching the sun set. I decide here and now that I need more of this. More sunsets and more sunrises and more of the little things that I love so much. And more real smiles. Not the kind you force when you feel you have to. But the genuine ones. Sometimes they are small, sometimes silly, or they can be fully cheesed huge grins. But they are real.



I'm smiling as I write this because it's so simple. Find what you love. Maybe you have to find out what you don't love to get there, but find out what you love. And find ways to get more of it in your life. And then watch as you find JOY.